I’m going to write about a phrase. It’s not a philosophical, alliterative phrase that makes the world stop and marvel the depth of each word. In fact, it’s a simple command that can easily be overlooked.

“Help old lady cross road.”

That’s it, grammatical error intended. Where’d that phrase come from? Who else but my dad. Like most parents, my dad has several custom-made proverbs, and this is one of them.

He alludes to all those moral lessons we learned in school. I’m sure you remember the picture or question that describes a fragile decrepit old man or woman standing by the roadside, trying desperately to cross but failing because Malaysians must maintain the status quo of the invisibility of pedestrians. The question usually ends with, “What must you do?”

     A. Cross the road alone. You're in a hurry.
     B. Ignore and walk on along the sidewalk. You're in a hurry.
     C. Continue eating. Your char kuey teow is getting cold.
     D. Smile at the uncle/aunty to let them know you’re not gonna rob them, hold by the hand, and help     him/her cross the Red Sea.

You get the gist.

My dad took to that illustration as a perfect example for all things moral. Whenever I go out with friends or visit someone, he punctuates his goodbye with, “Help old lady cross road ah”.

Hear it often enough and it’ll be on auto-replay. But it’s effective, you know. This one phrase helped define my social behavior and responsibility throughout my growing up years.

Yet there came a point when I became my own person, with my own opinions and convictions. The proverb turned stale and the admonition childish. Recently, though, for whatever reason, the phrase has been on auto-replay again. But this time, my “grown-up” understanding realizes that it’s far from being juvenile. There are still things to learn from this illustration:

  1.  Doing the right thing should be a lifestyle, regardless of time and place.
  2.  Don’t be so self-absorbed. Be aware of your surroundings and the people around you.
  3. The simplicity of the phrase conveys the tone that doing the right thing should be common sense. There’s no excuse for, “I didn’t know/wasn’t sure/was afraid.”
  4. When you do the right thing, you get in the way of people, and they won’t always be pleased. But in the end they’ll stop and respect your integrity.
And so this old phrase shall remain as a timeless proverbial entity in my life.

Well, that and char kuey teow.